Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Closet Fail

1) Sodalite ball earrings, $15, local merchant
2) Lapiz Lazuli and Turquoise necklace, $20, local museum
3) Turquoise tee, $3, JCPenney
4) Royal blue flyaway cardigan, $5, Ross
5) Black cotton slacks, $10, eBay
6) Crushed seashell necklace, $1, Claire's
7) fauxligator loafers, $7, Ross

This is what passes for a "fat day" outfit for me.  I'm all kinds of bloated and gunked up from yardwork yesterday, to the point that many of my pants don't fit well or at all.  This resulted in a muffin top that the t-shirt didn't quite conceal.  Adding the flyaway cardigan masked that and made the outfit a touch more professional.  Adding jewelry and semi patent fauxligator shoes to draw the eye away from my waist was the final key in an outfit I was comfortable going out in.
Hints for days you aren't exactly happy with your body are below.  (I hope days like that don't exist for you, but life happens.)
1) As counterintuitive as it may seem, don't try to hide away in something with no shape.  It will only make you feel worse (because you're hiding) and tell the whole world you're trying to hide.  Also, 9 times out of 10, it only magnifies what you're trying to hide.
2) Pull out something that you absolutely love that always fits (elastic, drawstring, jewelry, kick ass shoes) and build an outfit that will show that off.
3) Determine whether a tailored outfit or something loose and flowy (not baggy or shapeless) would camouflage your area of distaste better.  Sometimes, all it takes is a good button down shirt and no one can tell there's anything out of the ordinary.
4) Sundresses, flyaway cardigans, blazers, highwaisted anything and elastic waist flowy skirts are your friend on closet fail days.  ( A closet fail day is one where your entire wardrobe seems to be plotting against you by not fitting right or not coughing up a gorgeous outfit.)
5) Believe it or not, most people don't notice much of anything.  If you're worried what the public will think because your pants are fitting much tighter (to you), don't bother.  They won't notice unless that straining button pops and hits'em in the back of the head. You are your harshest critic.

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