A Hairy Topic

Almost every woman loves their hair or wants to love their hair.  It's a woman's crowning glory, even when it's not there.  My grandmother, towards the end, would refuse to wear her chemo wig, stating that she was still alive, so to hell someone who thought she needed to be ashamed of her baldness.  I have seen ladies chop off waist length fried out hair to a healthy pixie and rock it out.  Find the style and color that rocks your socks off and wear the hell out of it. (Caveat: check with HR before you rock the purple 'hawk, to make sure you don't lose your job over it.)  I don't give two flying fucks in a high wind if the hot thing is a caramel bob.  If you like your waist length platinum hair (and it's not fried out), rock that shit!
That said, the easiest way to keep your hair gorgeous and a thing of pride, aside from finding the cut and color you love, is to take care of your hair.  Don't kill it with heat, product, and chemicals.  Wear it au naturel, whatever that is for you: curly, kinky, stick straight,whatever.  The quickest way to fry your hair is to use heat and chemicals to make it what it's not.
Black women: rock that 'fro, dreads, or braids; you don't need weave and straighteners. Please, ladies, I'm tired of seeing hair teased and tortured into something it's not.  Go natural. I realize it takes effort and time, more than weave, possibly, but I encourage you to step up and stand out for what is right for your hair and for your culture.
Curly and wavy haired gals, from tight ringlets to loosely curled: don't straighten it.  I've known entirely too many straight haired gals (I was one) that would kill to keep a curl in their hair.  I realize this takes time and effort, and a short cut on an extremely curly haired girl can go horribly wrong.  But, if you can take the time and effort to find a good hairdresser and/ or brush it out right, you will look damn hot, without fried hair.
Stick straight haired girls, my sisters who can't keep a curl even if they want to: let it be. A curtain of stick straight hair is absolutely just as gorgeous as a 'fro, bouncy hair, or a wavy mane.  Don't attack it with a curling iron when it won't stay anyways.  Rock it!
This all said, if you truly feel better in a style of hair that isn't your natural texture or color, find a way to do it with as little damage to the hair as possible.  Frizzy, fried out hair, no matter it's length or cut, is not sexy or good looking.  It's truly akin to skankyho hair.  Try demipermanent hair color instead of permanent, if you can. Try a less harsh relaxer.  See if there's a perm that'll take the heating elements out of your routine (no, not all perms make you look like an '80s reject.) Healthy hair looks a million times better than heated into a fried mess hair.
A special message to my chicas who have lost their hair for some reason (chemo, alopecia, etc.): Ditch the wigs and bandanas (unless you need the coverage against the sun.)  Rock the bald look.  Make it your own.  Have fun with markers and waterbased paints.  When people ask and stare, stare back and say "this is me, are you brave enough to do it?"

Oooh, Shiny

1) Sodalite drop earrings, $10, local mall merchant
2) White long sleeve button up blouse, $20, Express
3) Tweedy metallic navy blue cardigan, $15, Express
4) Studded belt, $5, Claire's
5) Jeans, $20, Lucky via eBay
6) Black suede ankle boots, $20, Minnetonka via eBay
7) Blue cameo necklace, $15, local mall merchant

This is a quintessential fall outfit for me: it looks boring but causes a double take.  This sweater is
cozy warm (as in, almost too warm for what passes for fall around here), but looks more polished than you'd think a frayed cardigan ever could. It's also shiny, and I have a minor thing for shiny silvery (just call me a magpie).  I added the belt because it looked a little too frou frou without it.  I'm actually wearing those boots without socks, believe it or not, because, damn, they're almost as comfy as house shoes or my Vibrams.

Fun Links

Hiya folks!
I have the earache from hell, so today's post will be link love to some of my favorite fashion related places online.
Why Dressing Up Is Not a Crime of Fashion- I get asked on a regular basis in real life why I'm so dressed up, even if it's only jeans and a button up or a simple sundress.  I love Amber's take on it here and her defense against the Cult of Casual.
Vibram Fivefingers- The inspiration in my barefoot freak series and why most of my flats have as little sole as possible.
ShopStyle-  This and GoogleShopping are where I tend to hunt for the lookalikes to my outfits. If you're hunting for a very specific item, you want to hunt here.

Shortcomings? More like Awesomenesses!

We all go through body transitions in life.  If you didn't, you'd still be the size and shape of a newborn, which would really  kinda suck. Some gain weight and fight to lose every agonizing pound.  Some can't gain weight for love or evil and wish they could. Some develop a belly after childbirth that they can't shake.  Some have scars that won't fade or shouldn't fade.Some are still growing; some are still shrinking; some are still hiding things; some want to let it all hang out.  There are clothes and fads that help you mask your insecure regions and clothes and fads to help you show off the parts you love.  Each article of clothing has stuff it can do for you or parts that are not your friend.  You've seen this trying on clothes, when the shirt looked great on the rack and looks a frumpy sight on you. Today's post is on the parts you want to camouflage, stay tuned for the parts you want to celebrate.
I don't want y'all running  through this list hunting for things to hate about your body. Huh-uh. No way.  This blog is entirely about helping y'all look good and feel good, not just in cheap clothes, but in your own skin.  Looking for flaws does entirely the opposite of what I'm trying to do here.  I refuse have any part in fat shaming, skinny ragging, or any other form of body hate.  Don't bother with hateful comments, they'll get deleted before they even get published.
A Thick/ Stout/ Wide Neck
Throughout the years, the long swan neck has been lauded as the utmost perfection on a woman.  It's also something you're either born with or not.  The neck is a balancing post and moving mechanism for the 10-12 lb (excluding hair) human head.  A thicker neck is actually more evolutionarily sound, from a physics standpoint.  Unfortunately, women with an evolutionarily sound neck generally can only see that they don't have the long, graceful, easily damaged neck fashion wants.
If you are looking to disguise a evolutionarily stable neck, there are a few hints I can offer you.

• Long necklaces and scarves.  You want these at least  to bust level, may longer.  Keep any pendants and scarf knots around where your cleavage starts (yes, even AA bra size ladies have cleavage) or lower.  These draw the eye down, making the neck appear longer than it actually is and balancing out the width.  Play around with different necklace and scarf length until you find the one YOU like and you're happy in.
• Lower that neckline.  I'm not saying you want skankyho cleavage, but we're trying to elongate the neckline, and the easiest way to do that is to keep the expanse of collarbone area open. Aim for a v-neck or scoop neck (it doesn't hafta be really low cut, just not right at the neck.)  And fer the love of god, avoid collars.  Turtlenecks, mocknecks, mardarin collars, and button up done all the way up just makes it look even thicker.

Broad Shoulders
Congratulations.  You were blessed with a set of shoulders that would make an NFL linebacker jealous. While these are great for shoving people out of your way, they don't exactly make for the dainty physique fashion calls for.

• Avoid shoulder pads, teeny tiny straps, and epaulets like the plague.  These will only exaggerate your shoulders.
• Aim for short sleeves over cap sleeves, and keep the shoulders on your clothes free of ruffles and things that'll draw the eye to it.
• Also aim for an unstructured shoulder. Raglans, kimono sleeve, dolmans, sweaters... if there's no shoulder seam, it'll probably be really good on you.

Thin Shoulders 
While most designers want thin, shallow shoulders, you're sick of yours.  Straps always slide off, shoulder seams never line up,and fer the love of god, who designed this tee-shirt!

• You're the person fashion designers love, even if they don't design exactly for you. Epaulets, shoulder designs, structured and (minimally) padded shoulders, lace laden... these are all things you can pull off really easily and well.
• Still would rather hide it than pull it off?  Structured tops and minimal shoulder pads, or layer with a blazer instead of a cardigan.

Large Bust
Bazongas, knockers, porn star tits... I've heard most of 'em.  When your boobs are proportionally large for your frame, you're simultaneously  teh awesomesauce because you have the big tits every woman wants and every man wants, and you're irritated because dressing those fuckers could write a book in and of itself.

• Stay away from high necklines.  They make you look like you shoved a pillow down your chest.  If you do wear a button up, unbutton the top buttons and wear something underneath it.
• On the other hand, shy away from the overly lowcut.  With large tits, it's extra easy to look like a skankyho.
• ruffles, frills, all that jazz on the bust just draw more attention to it.  If that's you thing, go nuts, just remember that the more jazzhands your bust has, the larger it looks.
• Don't you dare wear baggy sack shirt.  Wearing something with no waist below the tits makes you look bigger than you are, both in the boobs and in the belly

Small Bust
Flatter than a dinner plate?  Believe it or not, you're what designers want.  I know it's a bitch to find shirts that don't need tailoring down.

• Look for unstructured shirts.  Knits are more friendly for you than a shirt with princess seams, because a knit will work with your curves instead of the princess seams being too big for you. (No, I didn't phrase that backwards.  The shirt doesn't fit you, not the other way around.) 
• A wrap shirt is also pretty figure flattering in you, bercause you can pull it as tight as you need to get a flattering cut.
• Shirring, ruffles, sequins and all that jazz will draw visual interest to the chest area and give  an impression of more depth in the area (hence, bigger boobs.)

Belly Woes
In older, less affluent times, a woman with a Rubenesque figure was considered hotter than Mila Jovavich and Gisele whatserface put together.  She could afford to eat to excess in a world of people starving to death. Even evolutionarily speaking, a woman with extra fat (to an extent) is healthier and more able to birth/ rear children in lean times.

• Put the potato sack down.  I mean it.  No shape makes you look shapeless.  Put down the muumuu, step away from the blouson top. You want shape.
• You want at least some structure. An empire waist, a well fitted button up, a tunic with side shaping, something. Wrap shirts work well, too, as they're adjustable.
• Shirring, ruching, ruffles and decorations on the belly can either be very flattering or very disconcerting.  Done right, people think it's all the decorations.  Done wrong, you're suddenly about to pop out a podling.
• I know this should go unsaid, but I'll say it anyways: wear the correct size. Too big and you look like a bad lady.  To small and not only can you not breathe, but it's VERY unflattering.  Wear the right size.  If you wear an XL and the 2X fits better, get the damn 2X.  The number of the tag means NOTHING. It's how it FITS.

Hips with a Side of Hips
 You've got "wide, childbirthin'" hips. Large hips are an evolutionary blessing.  Extra fat in the hips makes carrying a baby to term easier and gives extra padding to protect the growing fetus.  That still doesn't change the fact that women are, according to fashion designers, all the same size hip and finding a pair of pants that fit is a pain.

• Keep hunting.  You'll find that one manufacturer that designs for your frame.  For me, it's Old Navy's The Dreamer.  A friend swears by Cruel Girl.  It's a long, hard slog, and I won't tell you otherwise.  Find pants that fit? Buy'em in every color and a large supply.
• Believe it or not, you can pull off skinny jeans. Wear a loosely fitted top (like a tunic) and you're "dead sexay."  Boot cut and wide leg pants are more friendly on day when you're trying to camouflage and not show off.
• Pencil, straight, A-line, wrap, and circle skirts are your friends. The first two show off your curves in a very 40's/ sexy way, and the others are very forgiving on nearly any figure.  All 4 styles will show off your womanly curves.

• In general, extreme rises are not your friend. Low cut provokes the dreaded muffin top, high rise can look like you packed 5 quarts into a gallon bucket.  Some higher rises can look ok, but those are definitely a case by case basis.

 Soccer Legs
That's what we've always called large or athletic legs in my family.  Your legs can do more than most people can with their entire body, but fashion designers apparently use toothpick as figure models for their pants and skirts.

• Wide leg pants.  I can't say this enough.  On people with soccer legs, wide leg pants just look like regular straight leg pants.  When they come into fashion, clean them out.  I'm not even joking.
• Skinny pants.  Thick, muscular legs look damn good in something tight enough to show them off.
• Unless you have wide feet, most wide shank boots won't fit.  Get something that's meant to have a rainboot effect and love the fact that they don't do that on you. I'm also in love with shoe boots and shoes without an ankle strap, because they look good but don't obscure the view of my legs.
• Shorts and capris, by and large, just aren't your friend.  No matter where they're cut, they will still visually cut off an already wide leg. No bueno.  Skirts, on the other hand, are, especially a knee length skirt.
• Still want to hide your awesome legs?  Fine. Wear a maxi skirt. Comfort, maneuverability, nad coverage, while still looking chic and hot.  No hobble skirts or ankle length pencil skirts, though.  Neither one is flattering to anyone.

Figure? What Figure?
For you women with minimal curves wondering where you fit into all this, voila.  Ruler, stick, cylinder, boy... whatever shape you call it, it's generally treated very indifferently in the fashion community.

• Wear shirts that create a waist.  Wrap tops, empire waists, rushing, shirring... these can all produce a waist where there wasn't one before.  Wear belts and scarves at the waist, it does the same thing.
• You'll hafta hunt for jeans too.  Clean 'em out when you do find 'em.  Skinny jeans look AWESOME on you.  Hell, everything but a flare and a boot cut looks awesome on you.

"Comfortable" Is a Four Letter Word

 

1) Silk faux wrap shirt, $3.79, Harold's via Goodwill

2) Wide leg jeans, $10, Express via eBay

3) Suede colorblock platform sandals, $35, Gianni Bini via Dillard's

Regular readers will recognize all 3 parts of this outfit:  one from a post in Chicago, one as a pair of jeans I wear a LOT, and one from a dress post.  Some of y'all were probably also wondering when I'd get around to rewearing more than jeans, pants, and shoes.  The reality is that I've been trying to make myself wear more of my wardrobe on a more regular basis and failing miserably.  I tend to reach for the same shirts, jeans, and slacks over and over, because.. well, because I happen to think they look damn good on me, aren't fussy, and are comfortable.  

I know in the fashion biz, "comfortable" is a four letter word.  You can't possibly be comfortable and fashionable, according to them.  I also know I live in the real world, where I hafta walk more than five feet to get somewhere and shit'll sit in my closet if I hafta keep tugging it down, pulling it up, rebuttoning it, or wondering what ungodly fabric combination it is.  So, I do my best to straddle the line.  Newest fashion is 20" hooker heels?  That's nice, I'll wear my old platform shoes.  Latest fad is taffeta (god forbid)?  Silk'll work.  (Another unspoken rule at our house: if it needs to be ironed or handwashed, it doesn't see as much daylight.  If it needs dry cleaning or handwashing AND ironing?  Forget it, it stays on the rack.)  

If I can't work a fashion trend or don't want to fuck with it, I'll ignore the hell out of it.

Lazy Pin-Up

1) Marcasite star flower earrings, gift
2) Red scarf, $1, eBay
3) black shirt with white Swiss dots, $20, Express
4) Jeans, $20, Lucky via eBay
5) Red flats, ancient, Converse One Star via Target

This shirt never fails to make me feel good about my body.  Tiny Swiss dots on my tiny frame, a neutral pattern and colors, and a fit that's perfect.  On a crappy day, I reach for this shirt.  I also love these flats.  I'd be happier with a more minimalist sole (these have the standard converse sole), but other than that, they're generally all I need to punch up a neutral outfit to something not quite so waitresstastic.  Well, that and what is rapidly becoming the scarf of the day.
It appears that I rotate between necklaces and scarves from summer to winter.  My necklaces (with a few beloved exceptions) tend to get a little dusty when it's cold or chilly out, and my scarves tend to sit in the closet unworn when it's hot enough to fry an egg on the hood of your car.

Down Low: Fall/ Winter 2012

When you mention winter clothes, most people think boots, pants, and heavy coats.  Even in warmer climates, it's boots and coats.  Fashion designers this years have apparently decided that your legs don't get cold.  There are still boots out, and pants, but it appears that the ladylike silhouette of Mad Men and the rockabilly trend have taken over winter.
Ladies who love clothing with an actual waist, as opposed the shapeless sacks we've been seeing, you're in luck.  Belts, dresses with waists, pencil skirts, peplums... it all centers around showing off the feminine waist. 
Belts, as you've seen, are one of my favorite accessories.  Use a leather one, a cloth one, tie on a scarf as one, and BAM, a less than shapely outfit fit right and looks good. Proud of your waistline? Buckle a belt around it.  Don't care for your waist, but love your bust? Put a belt just under the bust.  Pants keep falling down?  put on a belt and tuck your shirt in to show off the belt.  Verdict: Unless you truly don't like your torso, or have other issues with belts, get a few.  While skinny belts are technically the hot thing, any belt (excluding the overly wide corset belt) is your friend.  This "trend" has never really wavered, even in the era of the potato sack.  I'd say stick with the classics and subdued version of the hot new trend, or you run the risk of looking like a teenybopper.
I also love a dress with a waist.  It looks good on damn near everyone, from the skinny toothpick to the heavily overweight.  Even if it's only the dress that has a waist, that create the illusion of the wearer having more of a waist.  A potato sack dress does very few people any favors.  Verdict: Enjoy this trend.  It is one of the very few in recent years that is nearly universally flattering.  Stick with the waist height that looks best on you (empire, natural waist, dropped waist) and you're in like Flynn.  I also believe this one may stick around a while, as a backlash against the shapeless dresses of the past several years.
Pencil skirts, straight skirts, wiggles skirts: whatever your preferred variety is, these are very "in" right now.  These cause the same waist effect that a good dress with a waist does.  Verdict: There's a reason these are considered classics.  Get at least one (preferably as a suit.)  Don't go too high in the leg (it turns into a skanky ho mini) or too long (sister wife or 1980s reject.)  Ideally, you want it to land within a couple inches either direction of the knee.  Also beware of frou frou detailing or detailing that would instantly date it.  You want a classic look.
Peplums are also back in. These also fall into the waisted category, and can be very figure flattering on many figures.  This is a very ladylike silhouette.  Verdict: This one comes down to personal taste.  It is a VERY feminine cut, so if you generally dress more tomboyish or avoid the romantic looks, I'd give this one a miss.  If you do go for it, the trend should be around for at least a year.  Just beware the overexaggerated peplum and the one in a very stiff material, as both of these can cast you toward fashion victim territory and make your hips appear ginormous.
For those of you that mostly wear pants, you're almost SOL.  There are a few trends I was able to dig up, but they seem to have taken a backseat to the skirt and dress this winter.  From what I've seen, the skinny/ cigarette pant trend has no intention of slowing down or going away.  This winter, it's colorful skinny jeans, cigarette/ stovepipe pants in nearly any color of the rainbow, and patterned pants.  (Translation: if you live in boot cut or wide leg pants, like I do, you're screwed.)
If you loved the skinny jean sensation this past year, you're in luck. Now they come in more colors and a couple variations of skinny.  You can even get them in patterns!  Verdict: This one's a matter of personal taste.  If you like skinnies, enjoy this trend, it shows no signs of going anywhere.  Stay away from the overly trendy colors (neon green leopard print is a bad idea) and don't get the leggings style to wear as pants. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
Cigarette pants and stovepipe pants are back in season, too.  Unfortunately, it appears that the fashion gods have decree that this shall exist only in slacks, not jeans, for whatever reason.  Remember, this is the season of Audrey Hepburn and Mad Men, so of course we aren't entertaining your silly warmth ideas. Verdict: A cigarette or stovepipe pant can look good on nearly any figure, depending on the top it is paired with.  Beware that these are both meant to be ankle pants, so bunching around the ankles isn't good. 
If you like colorful, patterned pants, this is your season!  Brocade, prints, and true colors are all big things. Verdict: If you decide to partake in this trend, be very careful.  The colorful pants thing shows no signs of slowing down, but it can turn into a very dated look in the near future.  I'd avoid the wild patterns and brocade on the pants.  This one is nearly impossible to do right; you either look like a fashion victim, like a 60 year old woman at the opera, or like an '80s reject.